Whistle Pig

S.W.Thompson · Whistle Pig

there is a groundhog
that took up residence
under my shed
technically it’s been more
like a dozen of ‘em.
I think one ran off,
a bunch of them
got caught in traps,
taken away somewhere
purportedly set free.
I stopped calling
my pest control people
this spring when COVID hit.
it wasn’t worth it
to risk them or me
to remove an inconvenience
that just comes back.
my most recent guest,
let’s call him “Jerk,”
has been having
a grand ole’ time.
people rarely leave
so nothing bothers him
or her.
the yard is mowed
so it always has eyes
peeled for the foxes
and the hawks.
Jerk has even made
a little lounge for itself
on a pair of cinderblocks
I found last year
and tried to use
to cover its entrances.
Jerk just lays on ‘em
sunbathing every afternoon.
frustrating at first
now its damn-near adorable.
the other day
we caught it sweeping
like something out of
“The Wind in the Willows.”
technically it was just
nibbling on a fallen branch
but it was endearing as hell.
I hate this Jerk
for no rational reason
now its growing on me.
I’m like that curmudgeon
at the beginning
of a kids movie
always staring out the door
yelling “get off my lawn”
before turning into a softy
and grumbling “Jerk”
under my breath.