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I Hate Birds

5/24/2013

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Chirping,
Perching,
Squawking,
Talking,
I hate all birds,
There is no stopping,
Pigeons,
Crows,
Robins,
Blue Jays,
Maybe I’m jealous,
Because I can’t fly.
Maybe I’m worried about,
A hummingbird beak in my eyes.
I don’t know,
I don’t care,
I don’t need to analyze it,
Just keep them away,
Or anesthetize all of them.
Parakeets,
McCaws,
Sparrows,
And finches especially.
Keep away bird feeders,
Destroy all their cages,
Something about them,
Sends me into rages.
I hate them.
I loathe them.
I think we don’t need them.
The albatross,
Seagull,
Turkey vulture,
And penguins,
Collect all their eggs,
Let’s have them for dinner,
Or ship them somewhere,
Where it’s permanent winter.
It doesn’t matter where they are,
Just so long as its not here.
No chickens,
No parrots,
No ostrich,
No flamingos,
No nothing,
Not ever,
I don’t want any of those.
I need my space,
Don’t want them flying into my windows,
Or pooping on shoulders.
I
HATE
BIRDS!
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    S.W.Thompson
    --odd as a man can be--

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